I published a post last night that was still in draft form (hit “publish” rather than “save”). -Yes, this is what happens at 12 am when you have been sleep deprived all week. I took it down, and will re-post it when it’s finished. In the mean time… how about another musical interlude?
This is a collaboration between Zara H. Phillips and muscian and frequent activist DMC (yes, from the very awesome band Run-DMC)
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From Guest Blogger Catherine M. Anderson. Visit her at mamacandtheboys.com, and click here>> for more information on Adoption Mosaic Bloggers.
One Tier at a Time: One Adoptive Mother’s Climb to Racial Awareness and Parenting (thoughts originated from postings at Adoptive Families Circle)
I am the mother of a transracial family. I have a five year old black son and a two year old biracial son via donor. I feel like I have reached a new tier in my racial awareness in the last year. I have gone from thinking (about five years ago) something like this; “Oh yeah I get it-because look at my family, I have to get it.” to “WHOA I don’t get it at all. I have so much work to do, where do I begin?” (Actually, I am always going to be in this phase, my reading, connecting, asking questions, reading, connecting phase) to “We have to talk about this, about RACE, about what our children are experiencing all the time.” And I do talk about it all the time.
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According to this article in The Telegraph, a UK newspaper, many charitable and non-profit organizations are warning against the rush to adopt children from Haiti.
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From Guest Blogger Astrid Dabbeni, Click here>> for more information on Adoption Mosaic Bloggers.
Today a friend on Facebook wrote: “It’s so sad to think about the number of children that have become orphaned in Haiti this week. I pray there’s a good adoption program to help. I am tempted…”
My reply was: “I know this is devastating! I too hope there are good programs. By programs, I mean programs that help the children find and connect with their extended birth family. Very often countries are in basic survival mode when a natural disaster occurs and they don’t search for a child’s extended family before sending them overseas for adoption. Also, people from all over the world are often ‘tempted’ to help at times like this by adopting the children without really understanding the bigger picture of what it REALLY means to adopt a child…let alone from another country. There are SO MANY ways to help…”
I would love to hear what others think about this topic.
A friend of mine let me in on a conversation she had with her husband last week. It was initially in reference to international adoption and went something like this:
A: If we were to adopt would you be upset if the child didn’t call you “daddy.”
B: Well, yes, a bit. I would want them to call me “daddy.”
A: But what if we were to adopt, say, your niece?
B: Well in that case no, I wouldn’t expect them to call me “daddy”
A: Why not?
B: Because they already have a daddy.
Put so simply, it makes you realize how easily and how often birth/first parents are completely erased from the lives of the adoptive family, as if they don’t exist. But the fact is, all adoptive children already have a daddy. They already have a mommy too. Can you imagine how the face of adoption would change if we all kept this reality in the forefront of our consciousness rather than tucking it away out of sight out of mind? What an amazing thing it would be if we could celebrate each of our parents (or children’s parents) without value judgments or guilt, but with openness and love.
I was out to lunch with a friend of mine a couple months ago and she handed me a copy of Hip Mama magazine open to a page with a poem on it. She said “You’ve got to read this.” The poem was Black Enough by Catherine Anderson and when I read it I got chills. I immediately knew that I wanted to include it in Adoption Mosaic’s (then) upcoming newsletter -page 8.
Then I took a good look at her blog and, well…
You’ve got to read it.
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