Archive for Adoption Language
April 10, 2010 at 8:53 pm · Posted by Livia · Filed under Adoption Language, Census, Kinship, Talking about Adoption
I was puzzled by the debate over adoption on the census. I couldn’t figure out why some people felt that checking off “adopted child” was demeaning to their child and why they equated this with adoptees being considered “less than.” And then I asked myself this question:
What if the debate over having to check “biological child” or “adopted child” were reversed? What if people were upset about having to check off “biological child” because they thought their biological child might feel differentiated and less than?
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March 17, 2010 at 10:38 pm · Posted by Tara · Filed under Adoption Dialogues, Adoption Language, Finding a Voice
We started holding Adoption Dialogues (unscripted conversations on different topics) some time ago. It’s an fascinating and dynamic way to take a subject and dissect it from two different perspectives. The topic this time was adoption language and the dialogue was between an adoptive parent (Kelly) and an adoptee (Shelise). Following is a small snapshot from the language dialogue (to read the full dialogue click here>>).
I think this dialogue, (and this excerpt in particular), is so compelling because it shows the intricacies of adoption language, and how it can potentially create barriers to constructive communication between triad or community members. What do you think?
Shelise: I think that adoption requires a narrative outside the status quo, as to how families are made. Also, since there is usually a lot of emotions involved in the adoption process, how we talk about it can become very tricky.
Kelly: Absolutely, Shelise. Adoption requires that we talk about families in ways that we may not have familiarity or practice with. And I agree that the emotions involved make this process challenging.
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March 5, 2010 at 9:36 pm · Posted by Tara · Filed under Adoption Blogs, Adoption Language, Birth/First parents, Guest Blog
We recently wrapped up our newest, and soon to be released, Adoption Dialogue on adoption language and it has (once again) brought the issue of adoption language to the forefront of my mind. I am reminded of this blog post by adoptive parent and Adoption Mosaic Guest Blogger Dawn Friedman who blogs at This Woman’s Work. She wrote this post last fall and it has stuck with me. (Read the full original post here>>) For those of you who aren’t familiar with Dawn’s family, Dawn is Madison’s adoptive mother, Pennie is Madison’s birth mother.
“It sounds like a very gloomy conversation but it wasn’t. She is very matter of fact about it all. I was just thinking about how she (Madison) says “real real mama” and how that’s supposedly “negative adoption language.” I guess in the mouth of the wrong person it could be but hearing it from my daughter, well, I know what she means.
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May 12, 2009 at 10:55 pm · Posted by Livia · Filed under Adoption Language, Finding a Voice, Identity, Movie Discussions, Open Thread Wednesdays
We watched “August Rush” in our Adult Adoptee Movie Group and near the end of our great discussion the topic of language came up.
We want to hear from you:
Do you feel more comfortable saying “birth parents” or “first parents”? Do you feel that if “first parents” aren’t involved in parenting they should be referred to as “parents”? How about “first mother” and “first father”?
Do you say “I was adopted” or “I am adopted”? Or, do you state “I’m an adoptee”? Do you think there’s a difference between these?
What impact do you think language has on shaping your experience and your identity as a member of the adoption constellation? Do you think a shift in language can change how other people look at adoption?
I was puzzled by the debate over adoption on the census. I couldn’t figure out why some people felt that checking off “adopted child” was demeaning to their child and why they equated this with adoptees being considered “less than.” And then I asked myself this question:
