Immigrant
“I am sorry, what did you say?”
This last December I met with Polo, a writer for the Asian Reporter and author of a new book Counter Culture, immigrant stories from Portland cafe counters, who was born in Indonesia and immigrated to the United States some years later. I was meeting with him and Liz Rogers, an Adoption Mosaic board member and Korean adoptee, to discuss various issues of trans-racial adoption.
I was very much enjoying our conversation and learning more about Polo’s amazing work in the immigrant community. At about the same time in our conversation that I found myself saying “Wow, he is doing so much for “that” community,” Polo asked “So, how old were you and your sister when the two of you immigrated to this country?” Instead of just answering “4 and 5 years old,” I paused because my head was racing with questions of “What does he mean, who is he referring to, what is he talking about?” In somewhat of a confused state I said “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Before Polo had a chance to repeat himself, Liz piped in and explained that she too had been taken back when she recently had been asked the exact same question.
As I sat there speechless (and as many of you who know me well know, this does not happen often), Liz proceeded to explain to Polo that for many of us who were adopted internationally we don’t see ourselves as immigrants. I was so grateful Liz was able to step in and explain. Polo had, what I interpreted as, a look of concern and confusion. After the initial shock Polo and I were experiencing (mine of “Wow, I have never thought of this” and his of “Wow, she has never thought of this” ), we were able to engage in a rich conversation which included Polo explaining that immigrating here is such an important part of who we are and that by denying this we are denying an important part of our selves, since how we came to this country does play a role in defining who we are.
Since that coffee date in December, I have put a lot of thought into this and have begun to explore and dialogue with friends (both non-adopted and adopted) what it means to immigrate to this country. I took a small poll in the last couple of months with close friends and family, and there is no doubting it – everyone I have spoken to agrees that my sister and I did indeed immigrate to this country. However, there is not clarity around whether those same people consider us immigrants by definition. So, I find myself asking? What is it about the adoption process that seems to makes our immigrant status go away? And is that a good thing or bad?
As all of this is new territory for me I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas about this topic.