I’ve been pretty disgusted with some of the news programs showing families who have adoptions in process with Haitian children. Good thing their belongings are safe…because when an already struggling country has been devastated by such a huge tragedy, that’s what I want to see…is how white people can feel safe and relieved, knowing “their” kids are safe. I know this may sound a bit harsh, but really…we should be looking at programs that, like Astrid mentioned, do help kids connect with family and community. In the wake of catastrophic tragedy, for families who have, in many cases, lost everything, we should not be prioritizing facilitating another loss.
Yes, there will be children in need of new homes/families and I wouldn’t be surprised to see an increase in adoptions from Haiti, but we should really look at how we can help to restore, revive and rebuild instead of creating more loss for a country that has lost more than most of us can imagine.

I couldn’t agree with you more Liz. I can’t stop thinking about how much $20,000 (cost of ONE international adoption) would help the country of Haiti and its people at a time like this!

The first thing I thought of when I saw the headline this morning saying 50 orphans had just come to the US to be adopted was, we can’t even take care of our own children in foster care….where are these kids going? Are there going to be shortcuts taken in the adoption process in the rush to “help” these children? What about their extended family members? Will a sufficient search be made? Will other family members even know what happened to these children?

While most people probably think…oh how great..the US is saving these poor orphaned children….they will have a much better life here with a nice white family that will take care of them. To me it is just another loss for these children in the name offering them a “better” life .

Agree to all above. While I hope that the new parents of these children will honor the loss the children have suffered by putting time and resources into finding out the whereabouts of any relatives they may have in Haiti, I despair because I know that no one is probably encouraging the adoptive parents to do so. Let’s not underplay the trauma and loss in these children’s lives by overshadowing their experience with an attitude of expected gratefulness.

hI, as a woman who has been in process of adopting a child from Haiti, for three years, I would like to add to the discussion. The idea of adopting children from the US is great. However, for a single woman , the options are limited. Right now, in Oregon, in my home state, I would most likely need to adopt through DHS. The children through DHS are considered “special needs”. These are children who come from families mostly torn through drug abuse, especially methamphetamines. To take on the responsibility of raising a child that comes from that sort of background is not to be taken lightly. I worked with teenage boys who had been in jail and alot of them were from similar backgrounds. It takes a huge amount of skill and inner resources to raise such children well. As a single woman, I have had to ask myself over and over, do I have such skills and inner resources to raise a child from that circumstance as well as I would like? I am trying to be a responsible citizen of the world and feel that there are others who are better prepared than I am at this point. It is not something I have considered without serious thought and deep reflection and alot of prayer. I want to be a mother, have wanted to all my life, miscarried and still want to pour into one child all the love I have to give.
It is a very deep theological and ethical question: should i spend 20,000 on one child and give him the best life he could have or give it to the whole of a community to spread around and use up quickly? if you could meet my adopted son from Haiti, maybe you would agree with me that he deserves to be adopted and receive all that focused love and attention. I myself, no longer have any doubts whatsoever.
I also want people to know that just because I am ecstatic that I now have my son safe with me, that I have not forgotten Haiti. I am working with a group raising and sending money to help rebuild and sustain Haiti. I have been( for the past few years) and am donating money to several groups that are in Haiti helping to build and rebuild. This will take a long term commitment. In the meantime, I am giving one child opportunities to live, survive and thrive here at the same time, I am trying to help the country as a whole. I wish people would not judge those of us who are good people, trying to do good in a world that has a lot of people who are only self serving. The world needs us all to work together to make it a better place. If you knew my full story, maybe you would have compassion for me instead of judgment. If you knew my new son, surely you would be happy that his life has been saved from the horrible fate that has been the reality for so many children of Haiti. Almost 50 percent die from malnutrition, diarrhea, measles, childhood diseases before the age of five. I could send lots of money to change this, but it would only be a drop in the bucket. I have taken on the responsibility of taking care of a child who, hopefully, will grow up to have a wonderful life.
By the way, Haiti has placed a moratorium on new adoptions. Only the children who were in process of being adopted are able to leave the country. The adoption agency I have worked through is VERY careful to accept children only whose family feel they can’t support the child. The agency has a program that also helps keep families together. If you don’t know much about Haiti, you should read Mountains Beyond Mountains. It explains how deeply impoverished Haiti is. One person cannot possibly make much of a dent in Haiti, especially not overnight….or even years. Therefore, giving one child the opportunity to leave his country and be raised in a place that has an abundance of resources is truly a blessing.
I hope I’ve shed some enlightenment on the process. It is so easy to judge others if you have not been in a situation yourself. Thank you for reading this far!!!

I’ve been looking for an organization that is helping the children in Haiti. SOS Children’s Villages has been around since 1949 and they seem to do some pretty amazing work. They focus on family-based, long-term care. To find out more about SOS Children’s Villages, visit their website.

http://www.sos-childrensvillages.org

Alicia,
Clearly you have put much time, energy and thought into your choice to adopt from Haiti, and I thank you for sharing your story and your experience. Readers will undoubtedly learn from it.

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